The White Belt Tragedy

I can’t remember when or where it started, but it should have been immediately remediated.  It’s arguable the worst fashion choice that any man can make on or around the golf course: White belts.  I feel like the recent resurgence is the result of a lost bet.  Some PGA guy lost a parlay and part of the punishment was to wear a white belt at a tour event.  Then some large athletic company sees it, thinks it’s a good idea, mass produces, Dick’s Sporting Goods picks them up, then it’s like contagion.  

White belts are worse than neon.  Stylistically they add nothing to the outfit.  Wearers immediately become ‘that guy in the white belt’.  While I get the “match your belt with your shoes” rule, there are some grey areas on the edges that completely negate the white belt conundrum.  While it’s difficult to enter the mindset of anyone that would wear a white belt, my only hypothesis is that it’s new, somewhat different, and a bit rebellious.  Maybe?  Well, so are white Oakley Razorblades.

The best dressed guys on tour don’t touch them.  Think about the guys who are the good dressers.  I mean the REALLY good dressers.  None of those guys wear white belts, and probably make fun of guys in the locker room who are wearing them.  Yes, tour players were wearing white belts back in the 70s and 80s, but there wasn’t any social media so they weren’t rightly ridiculed.  And just like polyester pants and oversized Ashworth polos, they didn’t age well.  The only stylistic option that has aged will is the tour visor, but we can all agree with that.  Even though tour pros have their outfits picked out for them, the guys who know what they are doing give a hard no on the white belt.  

So many good options out there.  White belts should be last on your list.  Want a little waist flair?  Get a good needlepoint or ribbon belt.  Get a good woven belt.  Wear your shotshell belt.  Whatever.  They are all much better choices, and ultimately look much better on the course.

For reference:

• Camo Needlepoint Belt > White Golf Belt
• 90’s Abercrombie Oversized Leather Belt > White Golf Belt
• Fishing-themed Nylon Belt (with bottle opener buckle) > White Golf Belt
• Giant Rodeo Buckle on a Suede Leather Belt > White Golf Belt
• LFG Ribbon Belt > White Golf Belt

Look, I get that everyone wants to press the envelope a little on the golf course.  Hoodies are a thing.  Guys are wearing Jordans with spikes.  And tight-rolled pants.  I strongly encourage you to look elsewhere if you are looking to add a little spice to your golf attire.  White belts are not the answer, and never will be.  They are the Scarlet Letter of on-course golf wear.  Don’t be that guy.